Fearlessness

July 9, 2012

I’m not sure I’m fully qualified to talk about fearlessness–I spend a lot of time thinking about different steps to be taken, alternate scenarios, and possible negative and positive outcomes and consequences. I analyze and think too hard and spend a lot of time doing something that looks like nothing because despite my excuses and rationalizations (the restaurant is closed on Monday, we have visitors coming, I’m not qualified), I know, deep down, that I am afraid.

However, now I would like to flirt with fearlessness. Maybe even go on a date with it. Maybe even ask it to go steady. I have one of the all-time best support networks (thank you, husband), and really, there’s no reason to keep putting off things I’m afraid to do. As my wise sister-in-law advised, you never really know what’s going to happen, but each day feels a little better if you’re fearless about what you’re doing. We went to a meaningful funeral last week, where we celebrated the passing of an unbelievably courageous woman. Scott’s grandmother was born in what was then Poland (it’s now part of the Ukraine), moved to Portugal with her family when she was a child, and then after a few years there moved to Cuba. She met Scott’s grandfather as a student in Santiago, then her family moved with her to Havana so that she could attend college. Over the course of her life she got a chemistry PhD, convinced her eventual husband to move across Cuba for her (sharing her tutoring students so he could pay for his room and board), moved to the United States to central Pennsylvania and ultimately became a high ranking powerhouse at NIH. She raised an incredibly successful, warm, and wonderful family. Those who knew her well (her health was already failing when I met her five years ago) spoke repeatedly of her intelligence, persistence, and optimism. It all sounds so much like courage to me. Fearlessness.

We also saw Beasts of the Southern Wild on Saturday night. For those who haven’t seen it–go see it, then we’ll talk some Hush Puppy and fearlessness.

So this week, I will try to be more fearless, to really go do this thing. Who’s with me? I’ll let you know how it goes.

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One Response to “Fearlessness”

  1. […] turns out that writing about fearlessness is one thing–it’s a way to put a language framework around something that’s […]

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